Friday, November 21, 2014

3-Bird Turducken, 17-Bird Royal Roast and Global Responsibility



November 21, 2014

3-Bird Turducken, 17-Bird Royal Roast and Global Responsibility

This is a grand example of why I am so cynical, sarcastic…and feel like I have to claw my way out of this omnipresent, defeatist attitude each and every day.  I wake up and am usually perusing the news from one of two devices before I ever leave the sheets for some bladder relief. 

Today I made it all the way to the computer at my desk before seeing this.  I was happy, entertaining a new, empowered feeling that I had enough dough in the bank to take a shooting road trip to explore more of my new home in North-Central California during the Fall-to-Winter months.  Rain!  Snow!  Wonderful!!  Needed to shop for a couple of small necessities to further this quest safely.  But first – more news.  It isn’t unlike iterative scientific research for me – scanning headlines for something new, or for something worded a slightly more intelligent way. 

I hit CNN, The Guardian, BBCUK, Al-Jazeera, more.  Then I land on my old favorite, NPR.  The usual headlines…GOP sues Obama, colleges and sexual assault, “they wouldn’t have nobody”… then the word ‘Turducken’ rings a bell.  Fall, holidays, yup.  The rest of the headline slid its way into my psyche and I pondered it as it did, word then word…a comparison, a competition.  ‘This 3-Bird Turducken Has Nothing On This 17-Bird Roast’.  Really? 

Without awaiting my next heartbeat, instant judgment and criticism.  Something I am trying constantly to combat within myself, in favor of a more productive attitude (I’ll take this up in another article). 

Turkey, Duck, Chicken.  OK, fine.  

…Fuck.  This is always what happens to me – I get an idea, then I walk that idea mentally, I think or write or hopefully both, having a thousand other thoughts as I navigate that first path.  Not only do I want to tackle my own personality again as I write this, pursuing a higher degree of self-awareness and understanding, I want to take on the root of Thanksgiving and its (lack of) evolution now as well.  Sigh.  New documents with new headlines.  You should see my unfinished writing folders. 

Attempting to stay this course, instead of seeing an article on food (keep in mind I haven’t read it yet), I see this evolution on human consumption and bitching.  My fingers  typed ‘botching’ at first, which also may have its own relevancy here.  Because we’re always looking to outdo ourselves, we had three favorite celebratory eating birds combined into one big roast as a more complete demonstration of our culinary creativity.  I recall years previous when it gained popularity, thinking ‘why three’?  I got the foodie question – what’s more to love than being able to appreciate expansively one of our most basic needs?  But then it begs the question…don’t we have people starving?  Myself, likely quite a few within hundreds of meters of where I am sitting?  Isn’t three birds overdoing it a bit?  OK, fine, overdo it once or twice a year.  But we in this country don’t.  And, of course, I am speaking generally – I know full well there are millions of people acting and eating as responsibly as they know how, for themselves and everyone (everything) else. 

Thankstaking?  Meh…and here I thought I was being so cool…it’s out there a fair bit.  Anyway…No.  Thanksgiving.  Instead of another indulgence into our own gluttony, why not create some monumental movement to do some good for many?  I keep thinking…what if we could keep our personal consumption small, but combine the other dollars that would have been spent to further something productive for everything on the planet? 

Now, before I immediately sleep my computer and run off to assist those who are trying to make a difference on this note, I’ll try to complete my thought.  I’ll also try to shed the idea of running off to help, at least for today.  I’m a horrible person. 

Then there’s this NPR article.  17 birds??  Seventeen.  I don’t think I’ve heard the chirp, whistle, warble or ‘poor-will’ of more than a dozen species in the last six months, leaving the alarming loss of our avian species for another article.  Wait…19th-century reference in the turkey drawing’s caption…?  Will explore that later.  Might even read the article.  Must…resist…will get impression out then adapt to new information accordingly.  Things probably haven’t changed. 


Seventeen.  I flare up at the thought.  This entitlement of ours to do and eat whatever we want, as often as we want.  On a whim, with no thought to anything beyond our (entitled…) taste buds.  And now, not having to wait for later.  I know how the thinking has evolved, as it has in so many arenas; that of early, innocent ignorance to that of apathy to that of just-plain-don’t-give-a-shit-I-am-not-going-to-live-that-long-anyway-so-I-might-as-well-do-exactly-what-I-want.  It doesn’t help that I saw our destroyed planet in Interstellar last night for my 45th birthday, even though that image lobbies my brain daily in various forms.  Why do I care when seemingly so many others do not?  It is admittedly nice to see others thinking the same way.  There are so many of us who want to make a difference, and we do – with the little things we do or don’t do every single minute of our lives, overcoming the shadow of apathy.  I don’t think those of us like that are better, I just think we have learned how to pay and maintain a bit closer attention, especially in this world of distractions.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  …SQUIRREL! 

“Stuffed, inserted, squeezed, thrown, inserted, introduced, piled, wormed, shoehorned, kicked, rammed, shoved, jammed, wedged, logged (meant to be lodged?), crammed”?  Yeah, I started reading the article.  It certainly doesn’t sound like fun from the perspective of those unfortunates who happen to be lower on the food chain than ourselves.  And, of course, in most cases they are talking about the packing of one previously-living-thing up the anal cavity of another.  Weee.  Yeah, they’re dead.  We’re adept at making things dead.  Nature is brutal…do we need to rub salt in it?  Uh…scratch that…I already know the answer. 

What is this?  This yawning divide in attention among us.  I won’t fault people for their fun, just don’t turn a blind eye to the impact you’re having.  Seriously, I have a 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee I would love to ditch for a far more responsible vehicle.  We do what we can when we are able, right?  But, this doesn’t appear to be…I digress.  Where was I.  Crap. 

Seventeen.  I read the article.  Two-hundred years ago.  Early 19th-century indulgences, at a time when there were only just over one billion people on the planet.  In all likelihood, those partaking in these feasts of non-famine were only  the royals and the incredibly well-to-do so the impact on nature was minimal.  Today, what would happen if we were looking at 100million households doing the same thing, just in the US?  We already know what production of turkeys, ducks and chickens is like for our ‘normal’ day-to-day consumption. 

As always, I try for a solution.  How can we solve a problem like this?  Sure, I’d love to see animals enjoy as much of a normal, healthy life (quantifiable? 80, 90…95%?) for their species before they’re ‘harvested’, humanely, as food?  I’d love to see everyone who wants to enjoy some culinary craziness like this.  Once in a blue moon.  In moderation.  That is really the word that underscores so much of what we do these days, and far too few are willing to incorporate it into their thinking.  But even once a year for this many people seems like too much. 

Heh, great.  Two headlines below this one on npr.org (at this moment):
The Whole World Is Fat! And That Ends Up Costing $2 Trillion A Year
Maybe later. 



© 2014 Michael Pichahchy

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