The Fat Vegan: For the Love of Salad. With a Spoon.

I swear, if there is any one thing I do that has the best chance of helping me 'live to a hundred' it is eating the salads I do.  At least until we find out that organic spinach, blueberries and turmeric unarguably cause some physiologically deleterious condition. 


I do hope to continue being able to live in whatever you call the 180º opposite of a 'food desert', to continue being able to afford or otherwise myself grow organic everything and, of course, the ability to chew, enjoy, swallow, digest, absorb and excrete it all.  Although...if I do happen to lose all my teeth (yay no cavities or other oral ailments so far with only a few months to go til age 50!) I'll always blend and drink everything with a glass or steel straw.  No juicing - I always keep all the fiber and never filter any of it out. Ever! 

blend != juice

Juice is just refined carbs in most cases.  Wait...dafuq...I had to look back to see what the fuck I was writing about.  o0o...tummy still warm (from capsaicins) , blood sugar rising a tad, ADD still misbehaving.  weee. 

uhm...

<I need to put something on this blank wall above my desk...>

<Saphie needs new wiper blades...>

<Wants that vegan salted caramel ice cream from that place on Capitol Hill...>

Right!  (I genuinely was trying to recall without looking how I got here.)

Salad.  Vegan, or at least as close to it as I can intentionally achieve on a regular basis.  I would love to say no animal products whatsoever, but I'd be willing to bet I'll ingest at least a few Animalia/Arthropoda/Insecta/Pterygota/Neoptera/Paraneoptera/Hemiptera/Sternorrhyncha/Aphidoidea/Aphididae/genus Aphis/Aphis Armata that hitched a ride on what is now my broccoli (O SHIT...I FORGOT BROCCOLI IN TODAY'S SALAD).  Ah well...I'll survive.

For my purposes:

salad

[ sal-uh d ]

---

noun

• a usually cold dish consisting of vegetables, as lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers, covered with a dressing and sometimes containing seafood, meat, or eggs.
• any of various dishes consisting of foods, as meat, seafood, eggs, pasta, or fruit, prepared singly or combined, usually cut up, mixed with a dressing, and served cold: chicken salad; potato salad.
•  any herb or green vegetable, as lettuce, used for salads or eaten raw.
• South Midland and Southern U.S. greens(def 22b).
• any mixture or assortment: The usual salad of writers, artists, and musicians attended the party.

Man, I was going to write a sentence beginning with 'Man' to start listing my favorites in terms of ingredients and I yet again got a little ticked at how patriarchal our society still is.  I think I'll try to change to starting with 'Hoo, Man or Whoa, Man,' instead.  I am already, as a photographer, trying to remember to discontinue use of 'gun-like words' like 'going shooting' and other gun references. 


But...<obligatory curse word>...thinking about it, my salads can and usually do include as many of the following veggies and froots as possible:

• Spinach
• Arugula
• Kale
• Tomat
• Red Onion
• Garlic
• Jalapeño
• Habañero
• Other spicy peppers...
• Apples
• Blueberries
• Extra firm tofu
• Zucchini
• Cucumber
• Pears

Occasional cameos include:

• Avocados
• Nuts/seeds
• Beets
• Cauliflower
• Bell peppers
• Asparagus
• Lettuces
• Strawberries
• Pomegranate
• Beans (I used to eat these a LOT but too many carbs...sparing now...plus they put too much @$$%&%* salt in canned beans anymore and I haven't committed to cooking my own yet)

Usual spices:

• Turmeric
• Garlic powder
• Red pepper flakes
• Paprika
• Cayenne
• Nutritional yeast
• Pepper
• more...?

<I get annoyed at page spell check not recognizing Latin names...wich iz wun hunnerd purcint stoopid because it is LATIN...>

I do try to eat as varied as possible but tend not to include mushrooms, starchy vegs like carrots, peas, corn, tatos.  NO FUCKING EGGPLANT EVAR.  Not that anyone uses it like this.  I get those in other ways, usually a small nom at dinner.  I do gravitate to quite a few usual suspects.  I try not to eat anything several hours before bed. I drink about a gallon of water per day.  Also trying to limit myself to most things seasonal here in the vicinity...can be tough in these northern areas, even here in Seattle.  Tough to commit to, not to find exactly what I want, when I want it.  So immensely, insanely fortunate we are. 

My salads also used to be GINORMOUS.  Yes.  I used that word while not millennial.  I might need a cranial MRI. 

When I do put fruit in it is usually 1/4 of an apple or pear or a dozen or so blueberries.  Never the whole piece of something larger, opting to quarter the rest and put it in a glass container shaken up with some lemon juice to prevent oxidation.  Because, you know, calorie density.  If I could afford to just eat the skins I'd probably opt for that but you also hafta live a little.  o0o0o0...!  I haz vino...in da house...

Oh!  Gotta change title or something...I also only eat my salads with a spoon.  Salad Spoon!  I get annoyed with some veggies, especially spinach...right?!...getting hooked on something else, a fork tine, you name it, and splattering salad juice/dressing all over everything.  Of course, half the time I am sitting at my desk watching a TED talk or two.  I do try to eat outside when possible. 


Supporting pictures of today's noshings!

Arugula, spinach, kale

+Tomat, zucch, onion,

+Jalapeño, Habañero, cuke, apple,

+Blueberries, 

+Tofu, 

w0ot...

+Turmeric, paprika, cayenne, black pepper, garlic powder,

+Nutritional yeast and 'Grace's Dressing',

Stir salad, put in fridge while making toast.  Gluten-free buckwheat sourdough from...uhm...forget name but we spend $19/week on a loaf and a half of their hand made bread at the Ballard Farmer's Market.  omnomnom...

 Sparingly, mayo+mustard or 'butter'?  M+M today it is, 

 

Finish pic of salad and toast

*Got image thingy working correctly.  So far...we'll see if it lets me publish.  

I might comment more later or edit a few things.  I was supposed to work on a bunch of post-processing today, did eleven images 90% done yesterday.  Goal of ten today.  I have one open in PS if that mitigates things.  At all.  

<3 

wait...there's wine...!  

hint of coffee in this Merlot...?

i now haz wine

©2019 Michael Pichahchy

Random Thought While Draining My Bladder

I'm standing there.  Always a good time to think...to allow my ADD to run away with arms flailing gleefully while I attempt to stay mentally on task with whatever I was doing preceding my parasympathetic nervous system's notification of a certain need. 

Where was I?  Oh, right.  A thought sufficiently important to come immediately here and write about it before said ADD overwrites it forever (formatting that memory space ahead of time to make sure because gray matter can do that). 

I was standing there and a fly kamikazes right into my forehead, conjuring a vocal 'what the fuck' as I shake my head and subsequently attempt to avoid creating a mess I'll just have to clean up.  As it buzzed off it left me thinking...why do flies always look like they're the most ADHD in terms of making decisions?  Or just completely oblivious to everything.  But they can't be.  We're talking millions of years of evolution to reach...their present state. 

So all this BS just to say I am now wondering (and will probably have to go study) how flies smell.  Is that seemingly spaztic, aerial clusterfuck actually them swimming in the atmosphere trying to get a lock on a scent?  Maybe that is why it was hanging out in the bathroom?  Barring very clean human bathrooms, why wouldn't they all make their way in there instead of annoying us in other parts of the house?  I could see some gravitating to the kitchen as well, especially with...respect...to some peoples' cooking. 

SQUIRREL!  Ok not really.  Crow.  Had a murder of DOZENS of them on the roof earlier today!  Quite the convention.  Noisy buggers. 

Um...

So...yeah.  Maybe all that seeming randomness is a very calculated flying pattern in search of food, potential mates and some entertainment.  Maybe that bash on the forehead was just lil dude slam-dancing to whatever song was in his head.  To my knowledge NPR didn't even have a theme playing at that moment. 

©2019 Michael Pichahchy

Crusty Underwear? Seriously?

My dad was always attentive to things like hygiene, especially when it came to being out in public.  He made sure I understood what it meant, for myself and for others, from brushing your teeth to washing behind your ears to brushing your hair.  Didn't matter what your style was as long as you were clean and presentable; no stink and the like.  It also extended to conducting oneself in public; you can do whatever you like at home but be respectful of others while out and about.  Not that he didn't enjoy fully an accidental or purposefully strategic puff of noisy and/or stanky flatulence on occasion.  Don't we all.

"...and that was silent but deadly...wow..." -George Carlin <3

I also recall him, until I worked it out myself rather quickly for obvious reasons, doing an effective job of wiping my outer anal sphincter clean for me after I enjoyed a movement.  He himself always seemed to put the same, good effort to this for himself, even using a liquid afterwards to freshen things up.  I do not recall what it was but I doubt highly this was its intended purpose.  My parents were divorced early on so I don't have any recent memory to back things up other than it was a watery, orangish liquid with a citrusy scent.  In a gallon jug he would dab toilet paper to that was kept behind the toilet tank.  In hindsight it may well have been his own concoction.  I probably should not admit this but in those very early days I experimented with available toilet water as a like option...I obviously did not stick with that long. 

I also had an upbringing around of a lot of strong, intelligent and opinionated women.  Many adults coming out of an age where women were much of the time stay-at home moms and thus taking care of many of those chores - like doing laundry.  Obviously, unfortunately, this is still often the case as apparently few men are yet willing to help around the house in this way.  My point is I was around to hear much of what they had to say to each other in the presence of 'kids' but with their husbands absent.

You know much of what I speak but I recall one thing stuck out that I couldn't wrap my head around - crusty underwear.  Right?  Yuck.  At first I didn't even know what they meant but nothing good can come of those to words combined.  To this day I haven't heard of or myself witnessed this problem with respect to women though I know it has to exist to some extent.  I'd hear stories about not minding brainless chores except when it came to 'his tighty-whiteys' with their own flavor of adjectives to describe said underwear along with this stuff that always came with them when...soiled.  Yes, I did use the word 'flavor' in that sentence.  Deal.  

I was like WTF?  I credit myself with always having been a respectably observant person but it never occurred to me to investigate this, not even in the school gym locker/shower room.  Not until I had heard these stories did I go looking.  Yeah.  What.  The.  Actual.  Fuck.  If people wipe, how could this happen?  Doesn't everyone clean up completely?!

This reminds me of something a friend said...about likening the wiping of one's ass when hairy to 'getting peanut butter out of a shag carpet'.  Yeah.  That's a thing.  And accurate.  But, in my opinion, no excuse. 

This left me pondering technique or lack thereof.  It is one thing to just not care, which I am sure is often the case 'because they're underwear for a reason' (which is stupid).  And how can a person not tell how effective a job they've done?  I think right now this moment is possibly the first time I have ever considered that people might not even look to see what kind of job they've done.  I mean seriously...I get that most people are scat averse but geezuz! 

Back to technique; use of a bidet notwithstanding, there appear two obvious choices - down the front and center between the legs or the hip-cock-side-wipe.  I suppose a contortionist might attempt to go down the rear center for fun.  No, fun might not be the right word but fuck it.  Down the center has always struck me as the way to go.  Almost painfully obvious.  The latter leaves me with visuals of guys (and some women) smearing shit up their cheek on the side of their dominant or otherwise favored hand.  And not bothering to continue cleaning things up, especially when combined with a lack of desire to actually see what kind of performance is being realized. 

Then, beyond all this, are people so unaware and/or uncaring that they aren't seeing these fine results when changing said undies?  I know people are often unaware of most things three feet from their face but come on.  I can not wrap my head around the concept, let alone being the person responsible for dealing with this problem.  I know one thing for certain - it sure as hell has never been and will never be me. 

Oh - and speaking of scat, Fuck Trump. 

©2019 Michael Pichahchy

Hydration and Visual Acuity (and some blathering)

tl:dr
Yeah, something I have noticed.  You?  Your level of true water hydration affects your vision.  Whooda thunk. 


Water.  Basic need...required for life as we know it, so far, on this planet at any rate.   The more pure the better.  I'd drink DI if I could. 

My mom and I used to talk about all kinds of physiological conditions and effects as I was growing up.  Training of muscles, exercising various functions the brain, range of motion, psycho-physiological considerations, you name it.  Always asking questions; always studying.  I miss her.  We'd have been more batshit than we already were had we enjoyed the likes of today's Internet in the '70s and '80s. 

Given that lack of the 'Net, I was plastered to books of all kinds.  We both were.  I had always figured I 'ruined my eyes' by spending so much time at that limited focal length.  Of course I don't truly specifically believe this in terms of direct cause and effect but it does merit consideration when you consider range of motion of a given muscle or joint loses effectiveness if overworked in a certain way and not fully extended, even stretched a bit.  Mus hav balance, grasshoppah.  Yeah...phuk dat.  Lolz. Gallon of ice cream and a bag of cookies, anyone?  Vegan/gluten-free of course.  

Despite a need for corrective lenses in my teen years I have always tried to limit the time spent wearing them...to driving, movies and the like.  Nearsightedness...but the proverbial squint worked and still works well enough at times, depending on quality of available light.  I do exercise them, forcing far focus as possible when I think about it.  That was my understanding from age 15ish to about age 4...3?

Then something happened.  My @#$*&%# partner put a camera in my hand.  A real one, not one of these stupid, quickie-phoney things.  Something that required a bit more attention, precision.  Do you wear glasses?  How annoying is it to shoot with your lens-corrected eye (glasses, I haven't tried contact lenses in over 25 years) to the eyepiece?  Right?!  Have an astigmatism?  Yeah, I developed one in the last decade or so, in my right, dominant eye.  The eye I shoot with.  Diopter adjustment on-camera you say?  OK, fine, but Pff...even professional cameras can't correct for astigmatisms. 

S0o...in the pursuit of making the capturing of light with a lens and sensor a wee bit easier and more effective, as always, more acute attention must be paid to anything and everything related.

During the first year of my running around with said equipment on a daily basis I started to notice that some days were easier than others in terms of 'finding focus'.  I do switch eyes, too, depending on the situation, which gave me double the information to go on.

Footnote/random thought - ever notice how each of your eyes not only focuses differently, but how the color temperature and/or saturation differ from one to the other?  Of course, when you are post-processing your brain compensates for this difference by 'averaging'.  Or something.  I dunno.  Maybe later.  I need to read up on color blindness as well. 

Where was I...the point.  I started paying more attention to those things I thought might affect my ability to focus.  Internal, external, environmental, with camera or without.  Humidity, sunlight, breeze, you name it.  Anything that can affect your vision.  It actually did not take too long to figure things out as I am fairly disciplined at drinking up to a full gallon of water per day; if I don't hydrate I notice it.  I noticed that if I am not hydrated I have a (sometimes much) harder time focusing, which can obviously make capturing a scene more difficult, or you can lose those little moments that can already be hard to catch. 

©2019 Michael Pichahchy

'Like' Is No More

For one social media platform, 2.27 billion active, monthly users at the time of this writing.  Over 29% of the human population of the planet. 

Like.  Yeah. 

People advertising so much more of their daily lives.  Necessary?  Scientists of various ilks have theorized til faces go azure as to why this level of sharing has become so important but it is ultimately very simple - awareness of the rest of the planet and a desire to be a part of it.  One would Like to think it is out of a desire just to participate but most want to be heard, and now to feel not just present but important, even celebrity.  It will be great when cooperation overtakes competition.

The torpid perusing of other peoples' publicized lives and clicking a button to show some level of engagement, albeit painfully minimal.  Like.  No longer just a word to be spoken inter-personally but a button to be pressed.   It is because of this now seeming absurdity...what...billions of times a day...?...that the word Like has lost virtually all of its purpose...diluted almost to the point of non-existence if you will.  That is possibly too tough a statement but I will leave it for now. 

Not that Like hasn't always been a feeble word.  A word used when you wanted to convey interest in something but lacking the commitment of something stronger.  A shade above neutral awareness of a subject.  Now it has been overused to the point of total saturation...enough.  You might as well be saying 'meh'.  Its use today would almost feel dismissive if the intent weren't intended to show approval.  Shoot me a Like.  Give me a Like.  Like my shit.  And follow me. 

For quite some time now it isn't just the dopamine response people are after, either.  As soon as profit motives infected this realm things went batshit.  'Like' was no longer something to show said genuine interest in but a commodity to be sought and, hopefully, given freely.  Whether the person extending the Like truly felt anything it matters not. 

This overuse across motivations has effectively erased any value this word ever enjoyed. 

©2019 Michael Pichahchy